


Don't leave me

by Ailward



Category: League of Legends, League of Legends RPF
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Hurt, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Post-Break Up, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-27 00:47:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20751542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailward/pseuds/Ailward
Summary: Jensen and Sneaky meet the night after TL won playoffs against C9.





	Don't leave me

They’ve lost. They were truly and utterly defeated. TL won. Jensen won, Zachary thought with an ache in his heart. A part of him was happy for his friend, yet the other part was hurt because Jensen won without him. Zach remembered all the times they’ve spent, dreaming about the moment they’d lift the thropy together. Jensen won and the defeat left a sour taste in the Ad carrys mouth.  
After the game he hugged Zach as if they were old friends and nothing more, while in reality they used to be so, so much more.  
He was a failure, Sneaky thought as he was leaving the stage, holding back the unshed tears. There, at the backstage, full of cheerful laughters and words of praise, Zach thought about quitting League for the first time.  
He failed to bring home the victory yet again. Years after years of trying, his efforts fell short when it mattered the most. He failed his team and the emptiness inside him that was quietly growing through years of dissapointment and failure, consumed him. He felt strangely numb as he thought about every teammate who left Cloud 9 in hopes of achieving something greater. Every player left a hole in his aching chest that never truly healed. Sneaky got attached to his teammates fast and it took him years to numb the pain of their leaving. The memories of Meteos still hurt, even though it’s been years. Losing Jensen was the worst, Zach was sure of it, as even a thought about the midlaner felt like a hole was being ripped through his heart.  
He couldn’t lose Jensen. Not now, not ever. At the back of his mind he always hoped Jensen would come back if the Cloud 9 won the playoffs. He wanted to prove the other boy he was enough, that Cloud 9 was enough. But they weren’t and todays defeat was the solid proof of it. Sneaky was naive, so he still hoped. Long time ago he already lost Meteos and the boy couldn’t face losing Jensen as well. Not now, when he finally realised how much Nicolaj meant to him. 

Fortunately for him, both teams stayed at the same hotel for the playoffs, so meeting Jensen wasn’t a hard task. Late in the evening, when everyone else was getting ready to sleep, he called Jensen, hoping the other boy would pick up the phone. It’s been months since they talked on the phone, Sneaky wasn’t even sure if Jensen had the same number.  
After a few tense seconds Nicolaj finally answered and Sneaky could hear a distant sound of music and cheerful laughter at the other side. Right, Jensen had a reason to celebrate, he though sourly.  
"Hi." He quietly said and nervously waited for the boy to respond. The truth was, Sneaky was unsure of what he wanted to say to him. He just needed to hear Jensens voice, to see him again and to finally, after what felt like ages, talk to him.  
There was a tense silence while Sneakys heart beat rapidly and then finally -  
A soft "Hi" from the other side of the line.  
Sneaky was panicking. Jensen answered him. And it suddenly felt like it was too much as the emotions overflew him.  
"Can we meet?" He asked quickly, trying to hide the desperation from his voice.

"Now? It’s kinda late, don’t you think?" Jensen answered him reluctantly. He sounded tired, it was an exhausting and emotional day after all.  
"It won’t be for long." Sneaky needed just a minute. Just enough he’d be able to tell him how he really felt. How much he missed him, how everyone missed him. How he couldn’t sleep at night, thinking about the other boy. How much he needed him, just to move forward. How much he loved him.  
At last, Jensen agreed. They’ve decided to meet at the entrance of the hotel. Sneaky waited, his hands fidgeting and heart slamming in his chest, until finally, he recognized the figure walking towards him.

"So.... I’m here." Jensen said as he stopped in front of Zach. He was slightly shivering as it was cold outside.  
"Ehm, congratulations on the victory." Sneaky smiled nervously, trying to sound happy for his friend. Jensen shrugged.  
"What do you want, Sneak?" Jensen asked and he just looked so tired. There was no cheerful smile displayed on his face, as it used to be every time they’ve won. His beautiful blue eyes didn’t shine as brightly as Zach remembered them to. The realization wiped a nervous smile off Sneakys face. No matter what, or with who, he wanted Jensen to be happy.  
"Can’t I just congratulate you on the victory and hang out with you for a moment, like we used to?" Sneaky carefully asked him.  
Jensen said nothing, he just stood here and waited for the other boy to spill out whatever was bothering him. He knew him far too well to fall for the lie Zach had just told him.  
"Everyone misses you, you know. It wasn’t the same after you left." Sneaky whispered after some time and there was so much sadness in the voice.  
"You left us. For what? Another title? Is that all it took?" He said as he desperately tried to hold back the tears – and failed when he felt them spilling down his cheeks.  
"You were like a brother to Eric. And you were... you were everything to me. I-I.. loved you." And I still do. I know that now. Come back, please, he begged quietly in his thoughts.  
Jensen looked at him in surprise. He stared at Sneaky like he wasn’t sure if all of it was just a bad joke. 

"You loved the idea of me. You loved the fact you had an easy fuck in the team. You liked pretending to be in love." He said and there was a hardly suppressed anger in his voice. Zach stood there in shock, frozen at the spot, unable to say anything in return. He never thought Jensen would see it that way.

"All this time, you were still in love with Meteos. And you acted like him leaving never affected you. I tried, Sneaky, I really did. I coped with your bullshit for so long." He snapped, his voice angry and disappointed at the same time. 

"That’s not true." Zach desperately tried to deny, his voice trembling as he spoke. Deep down he knew Jensen was right. He lied to himself for ages, while in reality, he wasn’t over Meteos. After Meteos left he tried to fill the void inside and Jensen was just so fitting for the role. He thought everything would be fine if he just pretended to care. So he lied to himself and to everyone else, most importantly, to Jensen. Every night they spent together was good, it numbed the pain, only because he saw Meteos in him. Or so he though for a long time. Ever since Jensen left, his life was miserable. He started remembering every moment they’ve spent together. And at some point, he started cherishing them. Slowly and surely he realized how important the boy was to him. How much he cared about him, how he wasn’t just a replacement. He was a good friend and an even greater boyfriend. He was everything Sneaky needed, yet broken as he was, he didn’t realize it in time. When he finally figured his feelings out, it was already too late, Jensen had already left.  
"I left because I was in love with you. Because it hurt too much, knowing I’d never be enough." Jensen spoke and his voice was suddenly rough, overflown by emotion.  
"I’m sorry." Zach said honestly. "I’m sorry I did that to you. But I do love you. I’ve loved you since the beginning and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it." He said and at the moment, the only thing he wanted was to embrace the boy in front of him.  
"Come back." He begged Jensen. "Let me fix it. Let me be with you, for real. Let’s start over."  
Jensen smiled at him. But his smile felt wrong, almost sad and so, so final.  
"Jensen!" A loud voice interrupted them and the both players turned around in snyc. Doublelift stood at the hotel door, looking at them reluctantly.  
"I’ve searched everywhere for you! Come inside, it’s freezing out there. Core is shitlessly drunk, you gotta see it."  
Jensen smiled at his teammate and this time, the smile felt warm and genuine. He turned back to Sneaky.  
"Sorry, I can’t give you what you want." He murmured quietly and turned around. Sneaky stood there, frozen and heartbroken when Doublelift hugged Jensen in a friendly manner as they went back inside the hotel. 

The world suddenly felt much colder. All of his hopes and dreams shattered as he stood alone in the chilly night.

Jensen left. And the world came crashing down on him.


End file.
